You want me to remember
everything that I want to forget:
you want me to surrender,
every iota of regret.
You want me to hurry up,
to get rid of all my hurt:
you want me to pussyfoot,
around the mud, the sex, and the dirt.
You want me to be polite,
to be obtuse, and to self-obstruct:
you want me to electrocute
myself, and to self-destruct.
Well: no more of your fashionistas,
no more of your self-control:
no more, then, of your mercy;
no more, of your cheap parole.
What I say now I have thought about.
What I say will forever be understood.
What I say will not be forgotten,
like you and all your friends would.
I am pledging today to cease allegiance,
to you and your family's crime;
I am promising myself to take my vengeance,
by not acknowledging your grime.
What you want, is civility:
what you want is human regret.
What I am is humility;
what I give, I can beget.
I will no longer bear your burden,
of self-flagellation by the state:
I will no longer stare unbidden,
into molestation and child-rape.
I will no longer come untethered
by the very sight and sound of you.
I will no longer lightly tread,
before the floor creaks:
because we're so through.
**
In memory of the 215 children, whose graves were found on the grounds of the former Kamloops Residential School, in British Columbia.
From "The Womb" by Daniel Viragh.